'SOMEONE'

Guess what... I really think writing blogs becoming my habit le...

I am going to write down everythings, every part and parcel of my life down since I don't know who to talk to... I really did feel very hurt, sad but who knows?

When I wake up at 11 a.m. today, my eyes were seriously swollen.

It is because there is a heavy downpour... Hehe

Crying still not too bad to me... Begging 'someone' not to leave me is the worst. But it seems doesn't work...

I quickly sms him straight after I woke up but it shows 'Sending Failed ... Message barred'

Aiks... Yesterday I used up all the credit calling him until is negative now... No more Talktime Advance available for me even I stupidly go and try.

I think of wanna use house phone to call him but even though I call what I can say? I really don't know what to say except saying 'I am out of credit'.

I also don't know what he will respond to me... Maybe just cruelly say alright.

I rather not going to call then getting a real bad respond.

When he talk so cruelly to me, my heart feel kind of pain. As is thousands of knife poking into my heart...

When I ask myself why things can get into this situation... I think no one can be blame except myself...

He NEEDS

~freedom

~friends

~dance

~studies

that I never think of wanna take those things away from him...

I am just trying to make him a better man and he start to hate me le.

Ah...I really don't know how to express my feelings.

Even I do tell him how I feel...I think there is no turning back le since a girl friend can become such irritating person for him.

There is no use even what I say...I only will increase his irritateness towards me.

Suan le la, I don't think I have the 'zi ge' to say anything anymore.

I gonna clean up the mess I have done yesterday-->

LUMPS of toilet paper I used to wipe tears and others.

Its quite disgusting right?

But I have listen to you de...I bring bottle of water to sleep every night, I drink plenty of water everyday.

Do you see my changes this 3 years? I really trying hard to change le...

Am I really that irritating that annoying ma? Till 'someone' really wanna dump me.

I think I really not a good GF.

Give me sometime k? I just need sometime to let you live you life...I promise